I warned you in my first entry that I would most likely wander down a rabbit trail every now and then, I just didn't think it would be so soon! God has been pointing something out to me this week and I asked my husband's permission to share it so here goes.
Today is Valentine's Day. For lots of us, it is a day of romantic love. Women look forward to this day usually beginning in January! Men begin to feel the pressure usually Feb. 13th! All joking aside, while this day is a happy day for many of us, it can be the loneliest day of the year for others. I really didn't know, and I don't mean "head know", I mean deep down really know this until I met my husband.
Chad is an awesome man! I am very blessed to have him in my life! He is a model husband and devoted dad. However only 8 years ago, Valentine's Day was a sore spot for him. Our pastor likes to play video clips before communion and one Sunday, close to Valentine's Day, he played a clip that hit home with Chad. This clip showed various people and situations and reminded each of the individuals going through the situation that God was there for them and that He loved them more than anyone possibly could. One image was a single, older man (late 30s or 40s) and the caption said to the effect that "would he ever find someone to love him?" After church, Chad shared with me that he had felt like that lots of times before me. This small revelation has come to mind many times over our nearly 7 years together.
You see, Chad was a single guy for a long time by our society's standards. If we wanted to get technical about it, I could probably say that I was his first real girlfriend (when he was in his early 30's) and now wife. Sure, he dated some, but nothing ever came of it. I know that he loved someone before me. I doubt that this young woman ever really knew how he felt for her, but it would not have taken much encouragement for this love that he had to have become a serious love. Now, I'm sure some of my girlfriends are reading this and thinking, "how can you talk about that?" It's hard! When it comes to my Chad, I'm a very jealous woman! But the truth of the matter is when any couple who wasn't blessed to know that they were meant for each other in high school, comes together later in life, we each have baggage.
God uses that baggage to teach us lessons in love and life. I have a ton of baggage and some of it I will share in the future. Let me tell you what lesson I have learned from this previous love and then I will get back to the main point of this blog. The lesson God has shared with me when I think of my dearly beloved husband (and those words bring tears to my eyes, because I mean them with all of my heart) loving someone before me is that purity of our bodies, our hearts, and our minds is to be cherished and encouraged in our children. When I have an instance to think of my husband having loved someone else, I think that I don't want my daughter to ever feel any confusion, doubt, or concern about her future husband. The enemy is quick to try to use those emotions to cause strife and tear young marriages apart. So knowing that there isn't a lot I can do to prevent this, I pray for that young man and his parents. He may not even be born yet, but he is already being prayed over for my daughter's sake! While that lesson is a dear one, it isn't the only one to be found in this sharing.
If I'm honest, I would like to tell you the main point of this is that we "should not judge a book by it's cover." That it takes time to get to know someone and really learn their heart. However, I don't think that this is what I'm supposed to share, even though I like that take on it! What I think I'm supposed to share with you is that there are a lot of hurting people that need God's love and YOU may be His chosen method of delivery. While that may seem strange in the context of speaking about romantic love (since we can only be one person's answer there), it seems to be the point that is fresh in my mind.
Our pastor has spent the last 3 Sundays teaching on love and really getting us to see that God IS love and we have to really learn to know that. Again, it is not the "head knowing", but the deep down heart knowing that we need. When we begin to get this knowing, revelations like Chad gave to me, really resonate in our souls. You see when he shared that my heart hurt for my then boyfriend, but even more, I hurt for all of the other single men and women in God's family who felt the same way! I can't honestly say that I have walked in those shoes, but through my husband's eyes, I'm able to see how hard that could be and learned compassion in a new way.
I would like to be able to say to all of the singles reading this, that you just need to trust in God and He will bring you that special someone sometime. But the truth is, that might not be the case. God, in His infinite wisdom, has marked some of you to walk through this world without a spouse. If you are one of the people that God hasn't shown you your spouse yet or you have a deep knowing that you are to remain single, He wants you to know that He is enough. He is enough for now, for tomorrow, and IF He gives you a spouse, He is enough to get you through the crazy times that you WILL face. He also wants you to know that He loves you more than you can imagine! You are not alone and you are loved! He wants you to really come to deep down know this love so He can use you to bless your world. Your life may be a lesson that someone needs to learn.
If you are one of those who has a spouse and Valentine's is a happy day for you, look around and ask God to open your eyes to see who needs His love today. Think, "I already do that?" Ask Him to show you how the other person feels. Ask Him to let you learn the heart lesson, not just the head one. When you begin to walk in that compassion, even for just a second, your whole world shifts and I can't even describe what you can expect! Your change in perspective may be a lesson that someone needs to learn.
This really has been a rabbit trail for me! I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to words and writing, so this "heart letter" is a bit maddening for me as when I read it back, it seems disjointed and scattered. However, I know if you are reading this either you needed to hear it or someone you know does. If you are hurting, I wish that I could reach through this screen and give you a hug! Since I can't, know that God does know and He does care! And He wants you to know that He will be your Valentine now and forever! <3 ya!
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