Guess what? It's been forever since I blogged! I wish I could say there was a really good reason for it, but the truth of the matter is I am one that wishes I could journal or write as a daily discipline, but haven't yet been able to add that to my repertoire. I still try to be transparent and honest with you about my shortcomings, so get ready for a doosy!
This morning God connected some dots for me and I knew it wasn't going to be just a Facebook post. Let me set the scene for you!
A couple of week's ago, one of my mentors reminded me that change is hard. If you are friends with me on Facebook or in everyday life, you will know that Chad and I started working with a team from church to help create Ministry Connect, the volunteer ministry for our church and beyond. It is an awesome work that has proved to be more challenging than we ever dreamed! We love it! Those of you who know that when you set out to stay in God's will and do a task He set before you, know that the enemy likes to put roadblocks in your way. Well, I had ended up with a huge roadblock and knew it was time to seek wisdom and experience, so I found myself in my mentor's office. I heard the words she said and agreed with them, but don't know that they really sunk in. "Yes, I know change is hard, but it is needed," I said. She reminded me that even though it may be a change for the good and growth, that our human nature is still loath to go in a new direction. Again, I heard the words and agreed with them, but God wasn't done with me yet on this topic.
Let me digress just a bit to share with you my take on God's sense of humor. I know that I'm not alone in that we all have a person or persons who get under our skin for one reason or another. For that matter, I may be that person for you! I have said, quite a bit to my husband, that if I voice that, "I don't like that about so&so" or "he just isn't my favorite person" and the person I am referring to is a member of the body of Christ, I can be sure that person is going to be my new buddy soon! Please don't get me wrong, I love people and I really try not to complain, but I believe the good Lord is taking me to a newer level where I can't even voice an off-handed comment without experiencing immediate repercussions. These aren't bad things. Quite the opposite actually! Let me give you an idea of what I mean. There was a fellow who I felt was a bit loud and his sense of humor just got on my nerves. My husband knew he bugged me and would tease me about him and my reaction to him. One day, this fellow decides he is going to be buddy-buddy with my daughter and she's "taken" by him. She chats with him and plays with him nearly every time she sees him. Then he ends up helping with my husband on one of his projects. Chad tells me a story about how he went out of his way to make another individual feel warm and welcomed. The next thing I know, I'm happy to count him as a friend and fellow servant and glad he is in my life. I know that God changed me so that I can see what God sees about this fellow. Here's why I say God has a sense of humor, I would go out of my way to limit interaction with this gentleman, but God said, "Uh-uh, ain't happening" and put him square in my path until I learned to appreciate this beautiful, thoughtful, joyful creation of the Almighty!
Then to further illustrate God's sense of humor, I submit my actions from yesterday and today. Now I know some of you may be thinking I don't see a "sense of humor" I see a lesson. OK, I give you that, but I also believe that Jesus had a "wicked" (not evil, there is another use for this word!) sense of humor from some of the things he said (check out his reference on the "plank in your own eye" for an example) and when we have seen the Son, we have seen the Father, so I choose to believe God has a sense of humor and He exercises it greatly in my life. I'm sure He grins a good deal when I finally connect the dots and say, "OK, I get it now God." But I got off on a tangent again! Yesterday, I shared a post about The 7 Types of Parents You See at Drop-off and commented that, "I hope my daughter doesn't feel slighted and the good people who take care of her feel valued by me!" Boy, that one didn't take long to undo! This morning, I have a bit of a cold and took a little longer than normal to get out of bed, which of course made it hard to get to daycare drop-off early enough so that I had a cushion of time to regroup before my first bus stop. So, now it is double whammy time for good ol' Karen!
You see our daycare and preschool just got a new director and we are undergoing some changes (yup, there's that word!) that I believe in and support. However, this morning is our first day back after a week off due to a school break and my daughter's preschool schedule. When I got to the door I always take her into, there is a sign on the door. Running late, I don't take time to read it all of the way and head on in with her in tow. One of the wonderful workers greets me and lets me know that this door is no longer where I need to bring my little one in and the sign-in sheet is in another part of the building. I look at the time and realize that I don't have enough time to go sign her in, so in a rushed voice, I say this to the worker and she graciously tells me she will take care of it. I quickly bend over, squeeze and kiss my girl and run for the door. Immediately as I get behind the wheel, I realize what I did! In a rush to make up for my mistake, I didn't take time to make sure my daughter understood the change, nor did I take time to honor that change with those in authority (the daycare worker and director). Talk about egg on my face! Boy, when I blow it, I do it in style! But wait, there is more to this lesson that I needed to learn.
You see, I then wanted to focus on the fact that I only had the notice of the sign on the door. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I should have had a little bit more time to prepare for this change. After all, they could have sent a letter home and made sure that I knew ahead of time that there was a new procedure. So, I thought to myself that I would head back in there and quietly suggest that in the future, perhaps they should send a letter or email so that I could be better prepared for the change. (Yes, dear reader, I was entirely full of myself! Luckily, not so much so that I was in a "righteous tizzy"! ) Now, let me point out that I whole-heartedly agree with this change! I think it is a matter of protection for the little ones and it is one that not too long ago, my brother-in-law and I were discussing. (There's that sense of humor again!) When I got back to the daycare, God had another plan! Who should I bump into? None other but the minister, who never fails to bring a smile to my face and give me a hug. Needless to say, my attitude took a lifting. He walked me in and chatted with me the whole time. I took some time to make sure my daughter had been signed-in and I put my initials by it, then I took some time to notice the other postings and flyers. As I had paused, my friend did his errand and came back to check with me to make sure I was OK. I told him how much I appreciated this change and then humbly voiced my wish that I had known about it a bit ahead of time. He smiled big and said, "Ah, gotcha!" I have to laugh now writing this as those words mean much more than what he meant them to mean.
I hope my connecting the dots lesson and failing by getting so full of myself helps you. In case you got caught up in my tale and missed what I learned, here it is: 1) change is hard. Yes, I heard my mentor's words and respected what she had to say, but I had to live it out in order to be on the other side and appreciate the emotions that go with that. Remember, I whole-heartedly believed in the change made at the daycare, but because the change didn't happen the way I thought it should, it upset me. God used my friend to soften me, slow me, and still allow me to "have my say" even when I didn't need to. Thank you God for unexpected appointments! In case you are wondering, he has no idea (unless he is reading this now) that God used him to teach me a huge and humbling lesson. I will be praying that I can be more respectful of the upset feelings that will happen as we continue to bring change to the body. 2) Learn to appreciate the good in EVERYONE and keep your mouth shut! There is a lady at church who I always tell my husband that even sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth. I have never in the 15+ years I've known her, heard her speak an unkind (not just bad, but to the degree of she doesn't even say something slightly off!) word about anyone. I believe God is taking me to that level. You see the people that God has put in my life recently, I didn't say hateful or hurtful things about, I simply said that there was something I didn't like about them. It wasn't what I defined gossip as. I wasn't carrying a tale about that person to someone else or spreading rumors, etc. Guess God is going to change that definition of "gossip" for me. Pastor has been preaching on unity lately and I am right there with him saying, "amen!" and supporting that teaching. Guess I really have to learn to own that teaching now! Unity is a lot more than just agreeing and believing the same way. In the body of Christ, I believe unity is even more so about love. Jesus said that people would know us by our love for one another. You have probably never heard me say a bad thing about my husband. It's not because he's perfect, it's because I love him so much that I want you to love and respect him too and how can you do that if I'm talking bad about him? Guess it is now time for me to take that lesson and apply it to unify the body and glorify God.
For those of you who may be reading my blog for the first time, yes, this level transparency is painful. It is humbling and it is not for everyone. There will be people who read this and no longer have the level of respect that they had for me in the past. But you know what? There will be some who will read it and get out of it exactly what God has for them, which is encouragement. We all blow it, He just asked (ha, who am I kidding? "Requires" is the better word choice!) me to be a bit more open about when I do. I'm just a tool in the hand of the Almighty and I hope you will respect that if not me.
Blessings to you and yours dear reader! <3 ya all!
